What to do when men shut down

Gina answers your love questions

What do you do if your man goes into his “cave” because he feels insecure, down or bad about himself and he can’t be honest or reveal his feelings to you?

Our men go in caves to think things out… they need the space to connect with their inner selves.  They think and connect differently; therefore they need the space to organize their thoughts.  This is healthy for men; it is something that is needed for them.  It is difficult for women to understand this, as we need to talk things out with other women.

Going into their caves doesn’t necessary mean they feel bad about themselves or insecure, it may at times, but not necessarily always.

We, women, need to allow our men to be in their space, and not ‘nag’ or constantly ask ‘why are you doing this?’ or  ‘why can’t you be honest with me?’

Men need to feel they can open up with their partners, which means we need to make this a ‘safe place’ for them.  If they feel threatened then they can’t tell us their true feelings.  Many times, at the beginning of the courtship, they are open and honest, but we bring our emotions into it and this makes them pull back.

The true question women need to ask is… “Can we handle the total truth and honesty?”  We think we can, but it’s not always easy.  The moment they are honest with us, we become scared and respond very emotionally sending a message that we can’t handle the truth.

Do we truly want our men to reveal their feelings to us?

We need to learn to listen, intently, from our hearts.  Not judge or become afraid.

When a man tells us how many love affairs he’s had, do we look at these as amazing experiences allowing him to be the man we love today? OR…do we compare ourselves to these other experiences and judge ourselves?  Can we handle true honesty… true feelings… and accept them for the wonderful, loving people they are?

Love & Light


Goddess Magenta