Episode 43 Building Better Relationships Podcast
In this podcast episode Angela and Patti discuss how to deal with negative emotions and energy in the workplace and your personal life.
Patti shares how being negative is easy and everyone is doing it and asks: “How does being negative affect you in your career and personal life?”
You may lose a promotion or worse yet all relationships by being a constant complainer, talking bad about others when displaying anger and hostility, or a victim mentality. I’ve heard some people say that being positive all the time is toxic. Why do you think that is?
Angela shares that perhaps they see people being falsely positive without dealing with the underlying issues that are creating bad vibes in the workplace or home. Some people can see being positive as a way to avoid facing the real issues of sadness, anger, or fear that go unaddressed. Some people are fearful of positive energy for fear that they can’t ever be happy. When you are addicted to suffering, it is very hard to enjoy someone else’s happiness. Plus people from the beginning of humanity have had jealousy when they think that they can’t have what others have. So if you see someone too happy, it can trigger ancient fears that somehow you are missing out. FOMO happiness.
Patti: How do we change these situations from toxic to kindness?
What if people stopped watching the news?
What if people smiled more?
What about looking at the good in others and appreciating each other?
Do you think things would change for the better?
Patti: Angela, you have told me many times it is okay to show your emotions. To feel them and release them. How do you do that without taking it out on the other person or projecting those emotions on them?
Angela: Have you heard of Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence?
In Daniel’s book he shares 4 areas to help manage emotions:
- Self Awareness of your Emotions
2. Managing your emotions and
3. Awareness of Social Relationships
4. Management of those Relationships.
The problem we have as humans is we often lack awareness of what emotions we have and what to do with them. So I found the work Daniel Goleman and others on the 4 areas a simple way to start.
Humans are born with an emotional brain that is designed to create errors of judgment and bias with our emotional brain. The book “Noise” by Daniel Kahneman is looking at how companies can make better decisions and stop errors at the company level that cost the company thousands of dollars. And our future could be one where we learn strategies to take out the human emotional element that is out of whack.
On a personal level, we can start now by learning how to be aware of our emotions and why we are feeling them. And also design ways in our life where we stop using our unrealistic or unhelpful emotions to make decisions. And encourage positive emotions to build a sense of connection with others, so even if you fear you are missing out, you don’t keep attaching to negative emotions but instead are drawn to connection with others and become an advocate for spreading positive emotions.
Patti: Strategies to help stay positive?
Walk away when drama is happening around you. Excuse yourself from the conversation.
When there are unkind remarks about someone else, say something nice about that particular person.
This action tends to halt the conversation.
Plug-in your headphones and listen to uplifting music.
Recite Positive Affirmations.
Journal about how you are feeling.
Go for a quick walk and pray about the situation, listen to an uplifting podcast or recite positive affirmations.
Concentrate on your work tasks.
Patti has a blog post series on Bad Leadership Styles where you can learn more about the impact of negativity and positivity in a leader.
We would love to hear your ideas and what you are doing with Managing Negative Emotions in Relationships Whether at Home or Work!
If you need more help with specific problems leave us a message here: https://anchor.fm/bbr-at-home-and-work/support and we can address them in our upcoming podcasts.
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