Hi and welcome. Happy Valentine’s to all this daily love and togetherness video is how can you make someone feel special. So I’m today going to do a little exercise just to show you how to make that special person in your life feel special.
So what I do a lot with my clients is ask them to imagine who they would like to be if they were able to give that love or share that love or express that love to someone. And I usually do it with people that they’re not getting on well with. So that might be harder because often when I’m working with clients we’re looking at situations that are not so good in their lives.
So today I would like you to do the opposite which is to think about someone who you do feel special about. So first off the top of your mind who is that person that you feel special about. It doesn’t have to be your partner can be even an animal if you’re strapped for someone special. And think about that person and think about straight away the feeling that you have when you actually feel that person.
And how do you feel that feeling? Is it a memory about what you did together? Is it a look in their eye? Is it something that you remember from how they took you out somewhere?
This is of course talking about some of those five love languages that dr. Gary Chapman who has taught us about which are: quality time or experiences with people, the gift of touch, or physical gifts like presents for people, and also acts of service like cooking for someone and that final one that always alludes me… [words of love].
So when you’re thinking about the person, what is it that you instantly remembered or felt?
For some of you you’re going to be a lot more visual and you’ll have an image or a moment that comes to mind or an actual day that you did something for the person or with them. For others you’ll have a few words that the person might say you might have a song from the radio you’re more auditory and to some of us, like myself, we’re very kinesthetic, so we’ll have a feeling a nice juicy kind of feeling inside or a laughter or a sense of I really can relax into this person. And also sometimes it can be a
feeling of “I just want to go home to this person”.
So its order to make that someone feel special for you one of the
things that I do a lot with clients is just to get them to experience that in the moment when you’re away from the person and then think organically or feel organically as you connect to your heart what you can send back to the person.
So right now, if you’re watching, take a moment and just feel close your eyes if you wish, what you’d like to send back to that person in response to what they gave to you. So I’m not a real adherence to the rules of the five love languages. I’m not a real good rule keeper and I like to break the rules because I like to do things my way and I encourage all of my friends and clients to do the same in love because that’s what attracts the person to you anyway.
And so what happens as you build love over time is that you learn: that’s my way, that’s your way, what don’t I like, what do I love. And those things that we don’t like about each other how can we meet halfway and just find a place that we get along and just accept.
So when you think about that special thing that you would like to return to your partner, if that isn’t corresponding to their particular love language don’t worry about it. And I’m not saying to think about it too much if this isn’t really resonating with you. If you’re really aware of their love language and you know how to make them feel special then go with that.
But if inside of you organically your inspiration is showing you what to send them whether it’s a funny joke or whether it’s a crazy idea or whether it’s just a text or it could be a way of making them feel good by doing something for them, let that happen organically. And allow the feeling more than anything to come through.
Essentially how you make someone feel special is when you’re feeling what we just walked through now that moment that memory that impression that they left on you and you organically send an impression back.
And over time as you build the relationship the impressions will start to become more synchronous.
Some of us are lucky and our partners just understand us. Some of us aren’t that lucky and we have to try and find over time how to send and receive the kind of love that we want to send and help our partner to receive the kind of love that we want to send or vice versa.
So just experience the joy that comes organically from you and remember that that’s the feeling that – whether your partner’s appreciative or not – that they will feel.
Our unconscious way of relating with each other, happens 24 hours a day by the feelings here [in your heart] that you feel about the person that you love.
So no matter what difficulties are going on in our head or what sense of isolation or separateness we might have, if you can feel that special feeling inside of you for the person, they’re going to feel it too.
Thank you for joining the Daily Love and Togetherness Videos have a beautiful Valentine’s even just thinking about those you love.