The mystery of love is simpler if you experience a body feeling totally safe and sensually aroused with pure joy. When a body is a loving body, there is the physical sensing of whether there is trust with a person and their touch. Trust is more than a verbal or emotional agreement. Trust is literally discerned by our cells and nerves centers as the body decides what is good for it and what does not feel so good.
Imagine a cat finding a place for itself on a crumpled bed covering. The cat stomps its paws into the bed covers to sense where and exactly how it will rest its tail and rump. In a similar way our very cells have to sense how to touch another or how to allow your own body to be touched to prepare you to give and receive intimacy.
When a loving body drops into the wonder of sensory stimulation and satisfaction, this is not simply a sexual act. A loving body enjoying its senses will have an expansion of breath that feels into every possible part of its bones and fibers and skin that desires to be loved and felt. A loving body expresses love through feeling more of itself and feeling more of the possibilities of how to experience its body.
True love comes from allowing all possible aspects of an individual to be expressed. In the body, this translates as more options to be touched, felt, expressed and sensed.
Imagine if you could grow up again from a child and explore dancing, acting or anything that you never had the opportunity to experience. Opening to explore different activities opens the mind, imagination and desire to be more fully experienced and therefore realized. Sometimes this means finding out you do not like something and this is valuable information to getting closer to what does feel good for you.
Having the openness to explore with the senses creates the feeling of being unlimited and breaks you free of the limits of negative body images or feelings of being unable to be what you want or experience what you truly desire.
Creating options to express yourself gives “new blood” to your ability to feel into your body and gives choices to your desire, opening the doors to finding satisfaction. And the expression of a desire to do something we truly wish to do is an important part of fully experiencing ourselves.
When the body fully expands into its breath and bones, muscles and fat (yes fat too!) and senses how you wish to be touched – even with your hands and imagination – then what you are allowing is the body’s range of choice to be expanded.
If we imagine the sensory information received by the developing child in the womb, there are no limits placed on what they can feel. They are in a limitless world of sensory experience, shaped only by the state of their evolution of growth, legs, tail, arms, fingers, tongue, toes.
Our body, by the nature of its very evolution in utero, requires sensory fulfillment. Otherwise, when we are on earth and we are denied sensory love, we start feeling something is missing! And then we shut down on all levels, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
If love can be encouraged in the body as an exploration, a discovery of what feels good, right and deserving and encourages feelings of comfort and joy, then more choices become available to us.
A loving body will naturally seek safe, comforting and pleasurable touch. Sexual touch will be a part of that safe touch which can also play with the “idea” of what is safe. Even when testing boundaries of what is safe, the body still associates pleasure with it, which connects back to the desire for comfort, pleasure and joy in the body.
For some, sexual touch that plays with boundaries of safety may be desirable. Erotic turn-ons can create satisfaction when they play with the very boundaries of the body that give us a sense of safety, nurturing and limitless possibilities. So some expressions of sexuality that transgress boundaries may be part of that exploration of limitlessness in the sensory satisfaction of the body. The important deciding factor is whether the body is ultimately safe in that exploration.
How do you express what is safe for you? The vital part of sustaining trust and making love is to always strive for easy verbal and physical communication so that if your body does not feel safe, you can verbally express your sense of being unsafe and have your voice heard by others. On a cellular level you have the capacity to know when something is wrong or right for you. Explore this feeling when you receive touch and ask yourself how you can verbalize how that touch feels for you so the other person will pay attention to your feelings.
The possibilities of pleasure in the body is not simply experiencing what “turns you on”. Pleasure is about allowing change and exploration into your life, especially when your physical body gets “stuck” in patterns that no longer satisfy you. Just as a massage or foot rub will ground you, loving touch has the ability to move you closer to what is comfortable or uncomfortable for you, giving you a clearer sense in your essential core what you truly desire. The loving body desires to keep experiencing love, which by nature is constantly evolving, creating more possibilities and experiencing more of ourselves so we can share more of our pleasure of being alive.